Gear Your Fear

Slightly off tangent from usual blogging on food, running and travel. Recently attended my first event organised by Wedge Asia on a topic that is not only relevant as we faced pretty much all the time (such as when starting new thing or when in critical situation) but also very meaningful in the development of our own self.

Summarised below are key of what being heard, seen and takeaway points on topic of Fear.

Event held at Working Capital. Not clear which floor to go to, I kept climbing the stair of shop house style building typical in the ‘little red dot’ and peeped into each glass door till I see some crowds sitting in a room. Good turn up from local and expat audiences alike. Ticket paid for this event included dinner from Dosirak (literally mean Korean Bento) serving rice meal in a cool designed takeaway box. Love the killer sauce. Good networking opportunity too!

Three key speakers were invited with varied experiences and backgrounds.

  1. Malti Bhojwani – a certified life coach and author. Her interactive session pulled out set of questions that allowed for deep thinking on fear and discussion among audiences.
  • Know your fear. Identify what is your biggest fear (such as fear of failure, rejection, lost in opportunity)
  • Fear are memories of past experiences felt in the present moment, when contemplating the future.
  • Fear is a feeling comes from Reptilian brain – a brain reaction to stimuli.
  • Fear can served you in life and also not served you in life.
  • Fear linked to Marslow’s hierarchy need (physiological, safety, love/belonging, esteem and self-actualisation) by way of fear losing those needs.
  • Changing how we behave and perceive fear is key.
  • Fear is not all negative.
  • Gratitude for having the fear feeling. If not you might cross the road without checking and looking left or right.
  • Assess if your fear legitimate or irrational.

2. Mark Thompson, CEO and founder of Twenty & Free  Academy – a young entrepreneur shared his journey building and growing his business from scratch. He took us down memory lane on story of traveling in Ukraine to learning skateboarding.

  • Fear means GO. It is important to have the right mindset.
  • Must feel fear otherwise the thing you wanted to do is not difficult or challenging.
  • Be out of comfort zone rather than on edge with aim to live and achieve dream.
  • Visualization of what you want to be as tool to overcome fear
  • 4 belief patterns: Procrastinator – (want to delay), Perfectionist (want to learn more), Hold on to the past (OK if no change and live in status quo) and Shiny Object preventing from taking action forward  (No commitment).

3. Marigold Duncan from Bakipa – mum of one and pregnant with second child talked about her childhood (described herself as ‘overdoer’ and carefree)  to running her own online marketplace business in Singapore. Her sunny smile and personality shined bright like marigold flower. Her colorful slides caught audience attention

  • Seeking learning and development in doing things rather than focusing only on end mean to success.
  • Quote from Eleanor Roosevelt “You must do the things you think you cannot do” as motivation to overcome fear and pursue in entrepreneurship
  • Overcome obstacles and challenges by managing fear not avoiding fear
  • Taking one step at a time encourage dealing with fear and get moving forward.

Key takeaway points and some thoughts:

  • Fear is necessity and unavoidable feeling, therefore must made aware consciously at all time. On the other spectrum, fear can be ignored or masked with other feeling which not probably best. Not having fear could mean certain aspects being overlooked or in the blind side.
  • The reason why fear exist (root cause) or trigger factors are to be understood and assessed to see if the underlying reasons are logical, rational or purely emotion. I would normally look at associated risk involve in term of impact and likelihood happening. Would also question the validity of why fear being felt. Are they from past experiences or based on current situation?
  • The next step is to allow the feeling of courage and bravery to take over the fear in order to move forward after all factors of fear being assess. This is often mentioned as taking calculated risk.
  • One motivation in engaging in any activity has to be firmly planted in soul and mind. External driver (such as to benefit others) rather than internal driver (such as for learning and growth) is far greater motivation that can break the feeling of fear.
  • There are area in life that one has less fear (or no fear in some cases) over the other.
  • Fear can be reduced, mitigated and overcome with know-how. Knowledge can conquer fear.
  • Fear of negative consequences of not doing certain thing, would encourage action to perform one’s task. As example, fear of not finishing a race say an ultra-running race would encourage one to train harder.
  • Listen to your gut-feeling which should portray true intuition rather than dwell too long on irrational fears.

So with life being either daring adventure or nothing, there’s no point in having fear take over or limit you! We know – no pain is no gain, I think no fear is no gain too. Because fear should bring extra positive efforts including loads of courage – if succeed in overcome it, your self-esteem and self-actualisation can be realised.

Thank you The Wedge Asia for bringing the inspiring minds under one roof which should spark light and courage for action in others.

As for free goodies, my apartment will not only look spotless clean but with care on environment thanks Bio-home and so look forward to turn a page of that best-selling Key Person of Influence book by Daniel Priestley – my new KPI that is!

Live to thrive.